Getting engaged and planning a new life with your partner is both exciting and stressful at the same time. It is common to get caught up in the planning of the wedding and often do not talk about the difficult topics, such as expectations, finances, how you will raise your children and how many, careers, relationship and boundaries with family and whether you have compatable life goals. While talking about these topics may not seem very fun or romantic, premarital counseling can set your marriage up to succeed and survive long-term, in spite of the odds.
Premarital counseling can help you and your significant other improve your relationship by helping you develop better communication skills, learn conflict management, uncover your shared core values as well as identify differences that could create future conflict. Working with a therapist, you can discuss expectations with your partner that will help better prepare both of you for marriage.
Some common issues with engaged couples are:
- You and your partner have arguments that don’t get resolved
- You feel like you’re always the one who has to compromise to keep the peace
- You’re concerned about how your partner’s financial situation will affect you as a married couple
- You’re worried about losing affection or having a diminished sex life after marriage
- You want to find healthier ways to resolve conflict
- You want to resolve religious or financial differences
- You want to define your marital roles and expectations
The intimate nature of marriage requires that you talk to your partner about everything, no matter how awkward or uncomfortable. Premarital counseling will help you learn how to be a better listener, and how to make your voice and needs heard in a productive and positive manner.
Premarital counseling will also show you how to handle conflict in your marriage. When you live with someone, you will have arguments ranging from the very mundane to more serious issues. How you argue will be a part of the story of how you are as a couple. Learn how to de-escalate arguments and how to fight fairly, so you don’t cause emotional pain from things you said that you’ll never be able to take back.
In pre-marital counseling, we will likely bring up topics that you’ve discussed with your partner previously, as well as subjects you hadn’t considered before. This fresh perspective from an objective third party will uncover new details from your partner. This is also an excellent time for us to find unexpected areas where you disagree, and give you the tools to handle possible future conflict.
Getting married is one of life’s most treasured experiences. Premarital counseling can help you and your partner turn that momentous occasion into a loving, lasting relationship.